magickcanoe.com Blog

Something has taken up residence in the basement. I first discovered it was downstairs yesterday. I don’t know if the word “discovered” is actually the appropriate word. It’s more like, “Yesterday, I first was driven crazy by something *noisy* and *obnoxious* in the basement.”
Yes, indeed, that seems much more accurate.

Yesterday morning, I was working upstairs, when all of a sudden I heard the distinct sound of someone tossing *stuff* around downstairs. Not little stuff. No. This was *big stuff* — like boxes of stuff.

I’m thinking, “What the hell? Who’s down there???”

It sounded like a demented burglar.

Btw, did you know that burglar is from the old French word… burgier… to pillage??
Well, that’s *precisely* what this….thing….was up to.
Pillaging. Turning the contents of the basement upside down.

I thought.. “Raccoons? Skunks? Cats? A bird?”
In the past, I’ve found birds inside the downstairs woodstove — starlings that have flown down the stove pipe and ended up either in the fire box, or sitting on the downdraft damper, swinging back and forth making it squeak like a rusty hinge. Last year, I also found a large kitten curled up asleep on top of the firewood. The screen had been pushed in on one of the windows. There’s no telling how long it was down there. A few years ago, I found a gorgeous little weasel in a white winter coat, crouched on the window sill above the washing machine — not exactly what one expects to see while doing the laundry.

So, I went downstairs, not knowing exactly what to expect as this “thing” sounded quite large and powerful. I looked around, but there was no creature in sight — just a few objects tossed around where they shouldn’t be. After awhile, I gave up my search and came back upstairs.

Seconds later, the pillaging began again, accompanied by the crash of boxes being flipped and things falling from the storage shelves.

Well, that went on all afternoon — the smashing around of stuff, punctuated by long silences each time I descended the stairs. I tried sneaking… then I tried stomping. Nothing worked. The THING was always silent (or gone) by the time I got downstairs.

I began to think that it might be a poltergeist. A very noisy ones that likes to knock hockey sticks and push-brooms over with a clatter.

Then… finally… I got lucky. On one of the downstairs trips, I caught a fleeting glimpse of *something* shooting along the edge of the firewood stacked under the stairs. It was one of those things that just flashes in your peripheral vision. It reminded me a little of the alien being in the movie, Predator.

I searched around some more — and then… suddenly….there atop the chopping block that I use as a sort of back stop when I’m splitting kindling with my axe, was….
a
little
heap
of
pine
cone
pieces.

ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
It could only mean one thing!

There is a %#&@^$%# red squirrel in the basement!!!!

We just lent the live trap to my mom because she’s got a sudden invasion of red squirrels in her attic as well! So, now we’ll have to live with a pillaging red squirrel tossing our belongings around in the basement for at least a few more days.

As a matter of fact, it’s down there tossing stuff around at this very moment — right while I’ve been writing this post. I figure that it must be the biggest red squirrel in the world because it’s making the *biggest mess* I’ve ever seen.

Tags: Red Squirrel, Tamiasciurus hudsonicus