13 years and i will remember you always   6 comments

Posted at 8:02 pm in Uncategorized

My dad, Edward Kay, in his racing car on a track in eastern Ontario – c. 1951.

Taking into account the time zone difference, in a few minutes, it will be thirteen years since the evening that my dad died of kidney cancer. I was his primary caregiver, so we spent the last couple of months of his life in almost constant company and he died in my arms just before 9 p.m.

Much has happened during that time. In many ways, my life has changed so much since the death of both my dad and my husband, Don, that sometimes I don’t even feel like the same person I was fourteen or so years ago. It seems like light years since many past events. However, in spite of the passage of time and the drastic changes that have occurred, it also seems like not much more than a heartbeat since my dad spent his last day talking quietly with me all afternoon.

Barely a day passes that I don’t think of my dad, or remember one thing or another that he taught me. During the past almost-four-years of living alone without my husband, I’ve had to take care of so many aspects of my life on my own. Today, I replaced the terminals on the power inverter that I use in my van. Earlier, I was regluing a broken object with epoxy. I feel appreciative for having a dad who took the time to teach me how to fix things – large and small – using all kinds of tools and materials. I also feel lucky for having inherited my dad’s great sense of direction and ability to read maps, and his memory for landmarks to navigate by. Without these and other skills, I wouldn’t have the self confidence and sense of freedom that makes it possible for me to travel alone across the continent, or work on my old house back in Round Hill. I feel privileged to have had such a great father.

Dad, I miss you, I love you, and I will remember you always.

Written by bev wigney on March 17th, 2012

6 Responses to '13 years and i will remember you always'

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  1. A beautiful tribute to your dad, Bev. It is a wonderful thing to know how our loved ones live on in us. We take them with us on our journeys, a safe place in our hearts.

    robin andrea

    17 Mar 12 at 8:34 pm

  2. Your annual remembrances of your dad are at once heart-rending and heart-warming, Bev. We hold our loved ones so close, whether they remain with us or not.


    17 Mar 12 at 8:55 pm

  3. Being a daughter who is loved and respected by her father makes all the difference in the world. You are living proof of that. I remember your posts of previous years but had forgotten that your father died on St. Patrick’s Day, just as my father did.


    17 Mar 12 at 9:42 pm

  4. You and Robin have written very inspiring tributes to your fathers lately. Having grown up with a father who was emotionally unable to share himself in ways that open themselves to these kinds of feelings I am reminded of how much I truly missed in that regard. Aging doesn’t heal the wound of the emptiness such a loss leaves behind. Thankfully, I was fortunate in the love, affection, and true intimacy I shared with my mother who was open to every expression of tender feeling and disclosure and nurtured my sister and me with special loving care. I have learned with her death that no matter how much time passes, I continue to miss her deeply, uncover moments when I long to share something with her, hear her voice, and feel her arms around me. I sense her presence when I am listening to the songbirds and spending time in our gardens, and especially when I am reading or writing. She lives in me in so many ways as it sounds like your father continues to live in you.


    17 Mar 12 at 11:18 pm

  5. Hi Bev

    A lovely post. I am wishing you many happy memories.

    All the best.


    18 Mar 12 at 3:48 pm

  6. J ust from your brief description of your dad, I have a feeling he would love being remembered
    in conjunction with this great photo, too


    20 Mar 12 at 8:28 am

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