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This is the post that I had hoped never to have to write.

As some of you already know, awhile ago I wrote that Don had retired due to health problems. Unfortunately, on the evening of Saturday, September 6th, he passed away from complications related to his illness. Despite writing about so many events of our lives here on my blog, Don and I have always been very private people and, some time ago, we made the decision that I would not write much about the circumstances of Don’s illness as we felt it might begin to overshadow other parts of our lives. In our case, I believe it was a good choice as we continued to live our lives as “normally” as we could under the circumstances.

However, now is the time to say more. I do so, in part, because I think it’s important for everyone to hear and learn from our experience.

Late last November, Don was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC). For several months, he had been bothered by a persistent cough. He was seen by two different doctors on several occasions. As he was a never-smoker, it seems that lung cancer was never suspected, so an assortment of inhalers and antibiotics were prescribed. Along about the time I left to go to Oregon and California for a month, another doctor finally chose to send Don for a CT scan. Don went for the scan and received the results a couple of days before I returned home. The scan revealed a lung tumor as well as lesions in other locations. We immediately knew that we were in for a major battle. In the months that followed, Don was treated with 3 different lines of chemo and a couple of sets of radiation treatments in an attempt to stamp out the tumors.

Lest anyone think that the past 10 months were all about cancer, that’s not precisely true. Actually, in between treatments, things went along relatively well at times. I was just going through my photos yesterday and reminding myself of all of the fun day trips we had around the region. In springtime, as soon as the snow melted away, we hiked in to the boardwalk over the pond at Baird Woods in Lanark, and at other locations such as Mill Pond Conservation Area, and Murphy’s Point Provincial Park. Also, every day, we and Sabrina walked the trails here at our farm. Always an active and very athletic man, Don maintained a high level of activity and physical condition in spite of the relentless nature of the illness and its treatment regimens. For anyone who is battling cancer, I urge you not to regard Don’s story as one of loss, but instead, as a testament to the power of determination and positivism. A fellow online friend battling the same cancer never fails to sign off his messages with “Never surrender”. That pretty much described our motto as well. Never surrender.

Well enough said about the illness. I don’t want it to take anything away from honoring a man who really was, in almost every sense, perfect. Don and I would have been married 34 years this coming September 25th. We were probably about as sympatico as two people could be. Not entirely alike, but always on the same wavelength. Friends and family keep remarking on how Don never failed to treat everyone with kindness and caring. He was among the most gentle people I’ve ever met, and was always one to listen with interest to everyone who shared their thoughts with him.

As a husband and friend, he was my best companion, whether we were paddling our canoe down a river, or hiking on the Canadian Shield. Over the past couple of decades, we had the good fortune to hike in much of eastern Canada, as well as trails in Arizona and along the Pacific coast in Oregon and California. We had planned to spend the rest of our years exploring other regions. In fact, just a few weeks ago, Don asked me to order in some hiking guides for the U.S southwest as we intended to spend part of this winter checking out some new trails.

Obviously, Don’s death is a great loss to me and to all who knew him well. For myself, I haven’t even begun to figure out how to carry on in his absence. However, I know that, whatever I do, it is with Don’s blessing. As the events of the last couple of weeks unfolded, he told me not let his death pull me down, but to try to move on, even if it meant leaving so much of our past behind. I should not feel some obligation to stay the course in any way. He urged me to get out and travel, explore the world and find those places that would most interest me. Of course, I shall miss the fellowship of his wonder at the natural world. For many years, it was Don who diligently recorded our nature observations with precision in his neat, flowing hand. Also Don who frequently pointed out an interesting caterpillar or peculiar fungi. I will so miss his sharp-eyed observations and eagerness to discuss each new find.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share a little of how we have spent this past year as, side by side, we fought a cruel and relentless foe. Don’s bravery and determination never wavered for a moment though the road was often rough and uncertain. Along the way, we have met and come to know many doctors and nurses and so many were quick to comment on Don’s remarkable ability to bounce back in spite of many setbacks. I was always in awe of his ability to endure the impossible with patience and incredible fortitude. He was courageous and I will miss him so.

Please take a moment to gaze upon these images which I have pulled from my photo collections from hikes both near and far. I ask you to remember Don as he would want to be remembered.

Tags: Don Wigney